


So close, so far

by KiriXY



Category: South Park
Genre: Alcohol, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 10:34:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1425364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiriXY/pseuds/KiriXY
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stan stopped hanging out with his friends and started avoiding Kyle. What's even worse, he replaced him for Craig.<br/>Kyle couldn't understand why his best friend turned to such a dick all of a sudden, but he's determined to find out and beat some sense into him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - School

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic is mostly Style, if you are looking for more Staig, you might end up disappointed. I tagged them as a pairing for a reason though, because they have their bit in this work, but it's not much, just so you know :)  
> There're some hints of other pairings too.  
> Enjoy!

„Kyle... Kyle! Kyle! .... God damnit fucking JEW!!!“

„Fuck you Cartman!!“ Kyle snapped back at him, annoyed.

„Don’t you snap at me, I called you three fucking times! Seriously...“ Cartman opposed and angrily dug fork in the food in front of him.

Oh. „Whatever...“ Was he spacing out again? Probably yes. It became a thing since Stan wasn’t with them anymore. „What did you want anyway?“ he asked Cartman afterwards.

„Nuthin... just wanted to know if you still want that meat...“ he pointed at Kyle’s plate.

Kyle’s eyebrows furrowed with even greater annoyance. „Fuck you Cartman...“ He grabbed his school bag and left the table, saying a brief ‘hi‘ to Kenny and leaving them alone.

„Sweet~“ Cartman smirked and took Kyle’s leftovers while Kenny just laughed at the whole situation.

\- - -

Kyle was walking down the street to the bus stop, kicking every stone that came in his way. He should definitely do something about that spacing out thing; he was even getting in trouble during class. Sure, there certainly was one thing that could help: if Stan returned back to them, to him. He would have someone to talk to again and most importantly, he would have his best friend back. They were always best buddies so what the hell. Since Stan started hanging out with Craig and his gang he changed almost completely. It wasn’t the Stan he knew, not at all.

It all happened a few months ago when Stan refused to go to Cartman’s birthday party and never really explained why. Cartman didn’t give much fuck back then, because Stan got him a present anyway and eventually even Kyle let it go, thinking that Stan is just not feeling well or something. It turned out that Stan went to Craig’s party that was held at the same evening. Craig didn’t even have his birthday, it was just a regular party, but Stan chose it anyway.

Kyle found out about it because he left Cartman’s house earlier to go check up on Stan, worried if it’s not something serious. His father answered the door and told him that Stan is over at Craig’s. Kyle couldn’t hide his genuine surprise, apologized for coming over so late and then just went home completely dumbfounded.

The next day at school he tried to talk to Stan about it, but it seemed like he was avoiding him. Leaving classroom right with the bell ringing, skipping lunch and going home by bike instead of taking the bus as the rest of them. Kenny and Cartman started to be suspicious about what’s going on as well, expecting Kyle to know, but he just shrugged off each question.

It took him a few days to finally get to talk to him, because even coming to Stan’s house was useless. He was always out, or at least instructed his  parents to tell him so. He finally caught him one day after school when Kyle was on the way to his locker. Stan was long gone again and so the surprise was even bigger when they bumped into each other.

„S-sorry...“ Stan said with a nervous smile „I just... forgot something, didn’t think you’re still gonna be here...“ he tried to walk around him, but Kyle stepped in his way.

„Didn’t think I’m gonna be here? Hello! Why are you avoiding me?!“ he gave Stan a determined look, ready to even trip him to make him stay and fucking explain everything.

„I’m not... avoiding you ok? Just... I was really busy these past days you know. Couldn’t hang out much.“

„Too busy getting drunk with Craig huh...?“ Kyle implied and Stan’s bewildered face assured him that he was right.

„How do you-...“

„Oh please Stan! I’m your best friend, of course I’d know something like that!“ He knew he was probably giving himself a bit too much credit, but Stan didn’t have to know.

„So are you having more fun with them than us? Is Craig your best friend now after you got tired of me?“ Kyle didn’t know where this was coming from. He didn’t want to say that and he definitely didn’t want to be an asshole either. Of course Stan wouldn’t betray him like that, they were best friends since elementary school after all. But still...

Stan’s expression stiffened and suddenly Kyle started feeling insecure, he wanted to cry and he didn’t know why.

„Yeah.“ Stan answered simply, but Kyle felt like he just stabbed him with a dagger. „I don’t wanna hang out with you guys anymore. So stop wasting your time running after me.“

Stan patted his shoulder and then walked past him and down the hallway, leaving Kyle there, all alone with his heart cracked in two.

\- - -


	2. Kyle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle sure needs some comfort from a friend and I give you a hint: It certainly won't be Cartman.

By the time Kyle got home, it was already quite late because his mom called him on the way to buy some things at the grocery store. He put that stuff in the fridge, said hi to parents and went to his room.

As much as he tried to distract himself with scrolling Tumblr and refreshing Facebook once in a while, hoping for something interesting, he just couldn’t stop thinking about Stan.

It’s been quite a while since he told him these awful words, but Kyle still wasn’t able to get over it. He was confused, he didn’t understand and most of all, he didn’t want to believe it. There must’ve been something else to it. Stan would never... Yes. The old Stan would never say something like that, but this was the new Stan he was dealing with, the one he didn’t know.

Kyle sighed and looked out of the window. It was already dark outside so he got up and shut the blinds. He hated the creepy feeling that someone could watch him from the dark. This slight paranoia reminded him of Tweek. Even _he_ gets to be with Stan more than him now.

How could this have happened? They were inseparable. Was Craig behind this? Did he say something to him at that party that changed Stan so much? It sounded farfetched, but he couldn’t come up with anything better.

He didn’t even know when he showered and changed to pajamas. He did it all subconsciously while constantly thinking about his former best friend, even before falling asleep.

\- - -

The next day at school they had to do a small project in pairs during one class. Kyle usually just joined Cartman and Kenny, but this time the teacher strictly ordered there has to be only two of them so no one tries to avoid work. Kenny and Cartman already started working and Kyle raised his hand, not even waiting until he is spoken to.

„I don’t have a partner.“

„That’s fine Kyle, just team up with Stanley, he doesn’t have one either.“

Naturally he thought Stan is with Craig already, so it surprised him. He turned around a bit too fast and saw that Craig is actually with Tweek and Clyde with Token. They left Stan out.

„Hey.“ He snapped out of it when Stan spoke to him, already setting his chair next to him.

„Hi.“

„So uh... let’s start?“ Stan suggested.

„Yeah...“

The lesson was more awkward than anything else, because either of them didn’t know how to act after not talking to each other for months. Still, despite of everything, Kyle was happy. He was glad for at least some small interaction with Stan.

It was strange, but suddenly he was conscious of tiny things like when Stan’s lips crooked in a small smile when Kyle did something funny, or how their hands touched now and then. He must have really missed him. But that wasn’t all. Without even realizing it, he was so focused on how low and mature Stan’s voice sounded or how nice his blue eyes looked with that raven hair or simply how amazingly handsome he was. If someone was looking at them at the moment, he would totally think that Kyle is gonna eat Stan with his eyes. Thank god no one was watching. Probably.

And then the lesson ended. For the first time in his life Kyle wished the bell didn’t ring. He wanted to be with Stan more; he never realized how much he missed him. For a second he thought, it’s gonna be fine, that after they get their mark Stan would just say 'we did it dude!' or something Stan would normally say and then go to lunch together. But that wasn’t what happened. After handing the papers over, Stan returned to his seat and packed his stuff, leaving with Craig, joking and laughing together with him. Kyle felt like he just woke up from a nice dream to a painful reality.

\- - -

„Wow, I thought you guys will definitely make up sooner or later, but this seems more serious...“ Kenny shook his head unbelievably and went to sit down with his food, waiting for Kyle to join him. Cartman went home sooner, because his mom was taking him to a new shopping mall in Denver.

„I don’t know anymore. For a moment there I thought that it will all return to normal... but it didn’t...“ Kyle poked his food, losing his appetite.

„Did you guys have a fight or something? I mean back then.“

„No we didn’t. That’s the strangest thing about it. It just... happened. After he went to Craig’s party instead of Cartman’s. Since then he’s been hanging out with them.“ Kyle’s stomach starts feeling funny remembering it.

„But you tried talking to him no? What did he say? It’s not like he ignored you completely, right? You were his best friend after all, not me or Cartman.“ Kenny shrugged and ate a few fries.

Kenny’s words were like a cold shower to him. „I...“ He covered his mouth. „He said that...“ He couldn‘t continue anymore, or his voice would crack.

„Hm?“ Kenny raised his head and looked at him. „H-hey dude! Are you crying??“ In panic he looked around if anyone saw them, getting up and going around the table to him. „Kyle, seriously... you can’t embarrass me like this in public.“ He made Kyle stand up and pulled him by his arm outside, somewhere to an empty classroom, away from prying looks.

Kyle landed himself down in a chair, burrying his face in his palms, trying not to cry. „I’m sorry... It’s just too much for me Kenny...“

The blond boy came closer, awkwardly patting Kyle’s back. If Kenny sucked at anything, it was comforting people. „Did he say something bad to you?“ he asked in the end.

The ginger slowly shrugged, wiping his tears with a sleeve afterwards. „You know how he was avoiding me... When I finally caught him by accident and demanded an explanation he... he said that he doesn’t wanna hang out with us anymore and that I should stop following him. But never said why! I just don’t get it...“

„Man, that’s harsh. You sure it wasn’t Stan’s evil twin?“ Kenny chuckled a bit.

„I wish.“ A heavy sigh escaped Kyle’s lips in order to calm down, and he played with his curls before speaking again. „Kenny, can you keep it a secret from Cartman if I tell you something?“

Kenny’s eyebrows goes up a little. „Well, depends, but let’s say yes? What is it?“ He took a chair and sat down on it the other way around, with the back of the chair between his legs, watching Kyle.

„I’m starting to notice things about Stan that I never noticed before...“ After the guy in front of him raised one eybrow he continued. „Like... I think he got taller and his fingers are so slim and nice and... other stuff... I noticed during that lesson I was paired up with him...“  
Kenny didn’t answer and just watched him, making Kyle feel uncomfortable.

„What? Is-... is it weird?“

„No. No it’s not weird, in case you’re gay Kyle.“ he snickered.

Kyle was afraid he would say that. But he had to hear it out loud and from someone else. „I think... I’m in love with him...“

The blond one rolled his eyes. He didn’t want to get involved in such things, that’s what he tried to avoid his whole life. But this was Kyle, he couldn’t just leave him like this. „Dude, maybe you should’ve realized that before Stan decided to ditch you...“

Kyle cast him a hurt look. He was not helping, not at all. Maybe he shouldn’t have told him.

„Alright, listen,“ Kenny spoke again, realizing that it probably wasn’t the best thing to say. „Craig called me to go to this one party, I didn’t wanna tell you so you don’t freak out, but it could be a good opportunity to talk about this to Stan. He is gonna be there too. Craig said anyone who wants to come is welcome, so you’re now officially invited by me.“

„I...“ Kyle’s voice was hoarse, so he cleared his throat and tried again. „I really don’t think that’s a good idea...“

„I think that’s a damn better idea than anything you’d come up with Kyle! Non-negotiable, you are going. I’m not gonna listen to your unrequited love whinings, without you even trying to do something about it.“ Kenny looked at him, determined. „Besides, Stan is gonna get drunk and we all know that he’s more honest when drunk, I think it’s a great opportunity.“

Kyle thought about it for a while and then answered. „You think I should tell him? What if he‘s gonna be even more disgusted?“

Kenny made a frustrated sound. „I don’t know Kyle! I can just tell you that you can’t screw up, cause he isn’t talking to you anyway, so it can only end up being the same or better.“

„Okay.“ He had to admit that it made sense.

„But honestly Kyle, you two were always so close that everyone thought you must be dating since elementary school. I’m kinda surprised you never did.“ He chuckled at how Kyle’s ears turned red and stood up.

„Just come to the party and talk to Stan after one or two shots.“

„Fine.“ Kyle got up as well. „Thanks Kenny.“ He smiled and bumped their shoulders gently.

„Don’t mention it dude. Just please don’t cry in the cafeteria next time.“ Kenny patted his back and they both went home together.

\- - -


	3. Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things just happen when you get drunk, right?

Kyle Broflovski spent way too much time getting ready for the party. Even though he tired to persuade himself that it didn’t take longer than usual, Kenny completely shattered his illusions.

„Are you sure you didn’t use too much cologne... or whatever the hell it is...?“ Kenny snickered in his sleeve so it’s not too obvious how amused he was.

„Is it too strong?“ he asked a little worried, but then frowned, „I mean! No I didn’t!“

Kenny chuckled, trying to contain his laughter as much as possible. „Yeah, sure...“

„Where’s Cartman anyway?“ the other one asked in attempt to change the subject.

„You miss him?“

„Hell no!!“

Kenny couldn’t help another chuckle. „He said he’ll drop by later. Don‘t know why and don’t care either.“

They arrived at the party just a little bit later as they were supposed to. It was at Craig’s house which Kyle didn’t know, but he decided not to bitch about it and just get over it like a man.

He never was in Craig’s house before, but as they walked in, he wasn’t surprised at all. It looked similar compared to his house, or Stan’s house, or pretty much any other house in South Park, only the walls were painted differently.

They left their coats, shoes and hats in the hall and then marched inside. The loud noise and heavy air immediatelly attacked Kyle’s senses. It was quite a while since he’s been to a party.

„Hi guys. Brought some alcohol with you?“

Kyle looked up when hearing a familiar voice.

„‘Sup Tucker. Yup we have some, here.“ Kenny gave him a bottle of absinth and Craig took it with a smirk.

„What’s that smell?“ Craig sniffed the air.

„Oh... nothing...“ Kenny tried really hard not to laugh.

Kyle was pissed off. How the hell did he have the guts to talk to them like nothing happned. He is the goddamn reason why Stan is not friends with him anymore. Why is Craig even here anyway? Oh wait. It’s his party. Right.

„Hi...“ the ginger addressed it to Craig, so he didn’t look like a complete douchebag.

Craig shifted his attention to Kenny once he realized Kyle obviously didn’t want to talk to him. „You know your way around right? Drink or eat whatever you want. If you puke anywhere else than in toilet you pay me 10 bucks and no sex in my room understood? Only if it’s with me, that is.“ He chuckled at the last sentence.

Kenny laughed. „Oh, so how about I sleep with you then?“

„You wish McCormick...“ Craig shook his head with a smirk and then left them alone.

Kyle tugged the sleeve of the blond boy and looked at him with mouth half opened. „Did you... Did you mean it?“

„Not really.“ Kenny shurgged, but then laughed. „But I’d go if he agreed.“

„What?! Kenny why didn’t you say you’re gay?“

„‘Cause I’m not. I go with whoever feels right y’know?“

„Ah... alright...? I think I need a drink... let’s just, you know... go...“ Shaken by this strange development Kyle walked into the living room even though he didn’t want to go in first.

After a few shots Kyle felt much more relaxed. He was sitting on a sofa, sipping his drink. Kenny left him to go talk with some people, but eventually he came back to him.

„Dude... are you gonna sit here all night?“ He put both hands on Kyle’s shoulders and shook him a little. „Come on, enjoy it here a bit...“

„But... I didn’t really come here to party...“

„Jesus fucking Christ Kyle! Since when are you such a girl?“ He pulled him up from the seat forcefully. „You’re gonna drink and dance and enjoy it now or I’ll kick your jewish ass right here!“

Something was telling Kyle that he doesn’t really want to do that, but he was quite drunk and the whole situation just seemed funny. „Haha alright, alright~... Where are we going?“

„Yard.“ Kenny answered simply. „You look like you need some fresh air...“

„Fine.“

On their way Kenny took some random cigarette pack that was lying around and lit one cig outside. The weather was calm, no wind and for South Park it was pretty warm too.

People were all around the place, some chatting, others playing stupid games like they were twelve and then there was Craig. With Stan.

Kyle wasn’t able to focus on anything else the moment he noticed them. He didn’t even realize that he took one cigarette from Kenny’s offering hand, put it in his mouth and inhaled after the other one lit it for him.

Stan seemed quite drunk indeed. Craig was drunk as much as him most likely, but it wasn’t that obvious on him. Stan was literally all over the place, laughing and joking with the other teen. He hated how easily Craig managed to get on Stan’s good side, or how happy and relaxed Stan looked around him. He wished it was him he was so friendly with. It has always been him. But now it was different. Kyle was seeing Stan from a different perspective than before. He liked him. In _that_ way. Sure, Stan wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but to him he was just so handsome.

„Won’t you go talk to him?“ Kenny’s voice brought him back to reality and he took a drag from his cigarette, frowning.

„I don’t wanna be a party breaker...“

Kenny rolled his eyes so much it’s surprising they didn’t get stuck in his head and didn’t even bother with an answer. They went silent for a couple of seconds.

„Kyle?“

„Yeah?“

„I think you _want_ to be a party breaker now...“

„What?“ Kyle looked at Kenny who pointed at the two with his cigarette. His confusion immediately transformed to pure anger. Craig was kissing Stan. There was no doubt. Craig Tucker was kissing Stan Marsh.

„Kyle...“ Kenny started, but Kyle was already striding their way, drunk and very, _very_ angry.

„Well... fuck...“

\- - -


	4. Stan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Switching to Stan's POV! So you can see why is he acting so stupid.  
> Also Craig talks more in this one! :D

Stan stopped in front of Craig’s door, hesitating for a while before knocking. No answer. However, when he raised his arm to try again, the door opened.

„Marsh?“ Craig looked confused seeing him there.

„Yeah, uh... hi... I was wondering... if I could join you guys at the party...“ He instantly regretted saying that. It must’ve sound obtrusive.

Craig looked around like he was expecting someone else to pop out of the bushes. „Sure but... I thought fatass had his birthday party right now, aren’t you supposed to be there?“

„I’d rather be here, if it’s ok.“

Craig’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t ask any more and stepped out of the way. „Come in.“

„Thanks.“

After Stan walked inside he saw Clyde and Token sitting on the sofa and having a drinking contest. Tweek was sitting next to them, but he was playing Street Fighter and twitched every time his character got hit.

This looked more like a sleepover than a party. It probably even was one. Now Stan felt even more stupid for coming over. They were all friends and he simply forced himself there.

Just as he was considering leaving after all, Clyde noticed that Craig has come back and laughed when he saw Stan.

„Stan! What the hell are you doing here?!“ He was pretty drunk and talked loud. Everyone looked at them as well.

„Hi. Yeah well... I thought you’re having a party and I wanted to join... I didn’t know it’s more of a private thing...“ He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head.

„Are you stupid, it’s ok. It was getting boring here anyway.“ Clyde patted the place next to them. „Come have a drink with us. What do you drink? We have pretty much everything.“

He did as Clyde said and sat down. They all were asking him why he wasn’t at Cartman’s party, but he always just avoided a direct answer somehow. Even though they were talkative and didn’t mind him there at all, he felt a little awkward until he had a few shots and finally relaxed.

All was going pretty well. They were talking a lot, drinking even more, watching some funny videos on YouTube, playing games and just doing whatever they felt like. Stan finally felt welcome, he didn’t expect that. Only Tweek seemed like he was constantly anxious about something and didn’t participate too much, but Stan assumed that’s just part of his personality.

„Craig, can I talk to you about something...?“ He heard Tweek asking that all of a sudden and raised his eyes. Tweek noticed and gestured Craig that he wants to go somewhere else.

Stan followed them with his eyes while Clyde was constantly blabbering something. He couldn’t help but secretly watch. He couldn’t hear them, but Tweek was telling him something. He was nervously tugging at his shirt and his lips were moving really fast like he wanted to say a lot in a short time.

Craig chuckled and said something while the blond was still talking, but that made him shut up immediatelly and he blushed a lot. Whether it was from anger or embarrassment, he couldn’t tell. Stan wondered what they were talking about.

Just as he turned back to Clyde and Token, he noticed something odd with the corner of his eye which made him look back. Craig was hugging Tweek. The smaller guy looked just as surprised as Stan and hugged him back awkwardly.

Stan didn’t know these two were so close to each other. It reminded him of Kyle and himself and that hurt. He shook that thought off and finally answered Clyde, who was trying to get his attention all this time.

\- - -

„Someone for a smoke?“ Stan asked when it was getting pretty late and he drank so much he couldn’t anymore.

„I’ll go.“ Craig got up from the sofa with a grunt, probably stiff after playing games with Tweek for more than an hour and half.

„I’ll pass this time.“ Token shrugged.

„Yeah, me too, you guys finally freed the console so...“ Clyde rejected them with a smirk.

„Tweek?“ Craig looked at the blond guy.

„Gah! No, I wanted to go make coffee...“

So it was just Craig and him in the end and they walked out to the yard together. Stan gave Craig one cigarette and lit it for him, then he lit his own.

He was thinking about how to break the silence so it doesn’t get too awkward, but Craig has spoken first.

„Mind telling me why you’re not with your group now?“

Stan’s eyebrow twitched. „I told you already, I just felt like hanging out with you guys...“

Craig chuckled. „Yeah, sure.“ He let the ash drop from his cigarette before taking a drag again. „You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t feel like it. I was just curious.“

Stan was silent for a while, but then, he was holding it in for too long and even though Craig might not be the best person to talk to, he was drunk and didn’t care anymore. „It’s cause I need to get away from Kyle for some time.“

Craig’s eyebrows went up. „What, seriosuly? Did you have a fight over religion or something?“ He chuckled.

„Nah, not fight at all actually. Quite the contrary...“ Stan took a long drag, feeling a bit nervous. Why is he even telling him this. Wasn’t this what he wanted to avoid? What if Craig is gonna laugh at him, his efforts will be for nothing.

Craig actually looked at him this time, trying to process it in his drunken mind. „So you are ok... but you still don’t wanna see him?“

„Pretty much, yeah.“

„Why don’t you just tell him you like him?“

It came so sudden that Stan almost didn’t register it. „Cause-... wait! How the hell did you figure _that_ out?!“

Craig laughed like it was really funny. „Something like this happened to me not so long ago so... so it was just a wild guess... was I wrong?“

Stan couldn’t believe what he just heard. „Ah damn... I guess there’s no point denying it anymore huh...“ Another drag from his cigarette calmed his nerves down a bit. „And what exactly happened to you then? I’m quite curious who is the unique person Craig Tucker fell in love with...“

The taller guy shook his head and chuckled at the slight compliment. „It wasn’t me. I’ve got confessed to. It’s not like I haven’t been before, but for the first time it was my friend. It felt a bit strange I must say.“

„You won’t tell me who was it right...“ It was more of a rethorical question and Stan quite guessed already, but Craig looked inside through the glass door and jerked his chin towards Tweek.

Stan was watching the coffee-addict for a while, who was desperately trying to get the remote control from Clyde, and then slowly turned to look at Craig again. „Why are you telling me this? Aren’t you afraid that I will go and tell everyone that you’re gay?“

This time Craig laughed really loud before answering. „Go ahead and tell them. Clyde and Token know already and I don’t give two fucks about what others think. I don’t go around telling people I’m gay, but if someone asks, I don’t have a problem telling the truth.“

Stan sure was impressed how strong and confident Craig was. But that’s Craig, he’s always been like this.

„It’s not like I’m gonna tell anyone anyway. But you know, with Kyle it isn’t the same as with Tweek. Tweek already knew about you being gay, so his chances were pretty high. I don’t have any, cause Kyle doesn’t swing that way.“ Stan didn't feel comfortable thinking about it, so he distracted himself by pushing the cigarette in an ashtray.

„Lots of people are gay these days, or at least bisexual. I wouldn’t be surprised if Broflovski was too.“ He smirked and puts out his cigarette as well.

„He’s not. He sometimes even laughs at homophobic jokes with Cartman.“

This time Craig had to try very hard not to burst out laughing. „Yeah. 'Cause that’s a bulletproof evidence, dude. Maybe he's just trying to be inconspicuous by doing so...“

Stan wasn’t sure how to understand that, but Craig didn’t say anything else and since they were done smoking, they returned inside.

It was strange, but he had a very good feeling about the talk they’ve just had. It felt like someone finally understands him and he found himself admiring Craig more and more. In the end it was a great party.

\- - -

Stan expected that Kyle will demand an explanation, but he couldn’t possibly tell him, so he made a good job avoiding him. He stopped going to lunch, or he ignored the school bus rides and just rode his bike or simply walked home.

Somewhere deep inside he wanted to tell him, to spill it all out. How much he meant to him, that he wanted to touch his beautiful red hair every time he saw him, how he couldn‘t even look in his emerald eyes without risking to just drown in them.

He also loved those cute freckles around the bridge of Kyle’s nose and he couldn’t even count how many times he wondered whether he had them in other places of his body too.

So yeah, he couldn’t possibly tell him this, could he? No. He was sure Kyle would be disgusted, confused even and most likely wouldn’t want to be friends anymore and that would be horrible. It was better this way, so he can get over Kyle and then maybe try to be friends again.

However it was almost impossible to avoid him all the time and it hurt to see the accusing looks of his best friend. Especially after they ran into each other at school, when Stan forgot something and had to return. He said mean things to Kyle to keep him away. It was horrible.

Stan knew very well that he must hate him for being such a dick, but he was also sure that this was for the better. Anything was better than Kyle hating him for having such feelings.

Several painful weeks passed and Stan felt like he was finally getting over it. But he was sorely mistaken by finding out during one lesson when their teacher paired them up together for a class project.

He wanted to be mean, but couldn’t. Kyle was just too cute and irresistible. He wished he could stay with him like this, but that would just lead to a disaster. Stan knew he wouldn’t be able to pretend to be only a friend. He needed Kyle as something more, or rather nothing. However selfish that sounded.

After that lesson he knew he had to do something about it. If he still kept seeing Kyle at least a little bit, it would never end. He even considered the idea of asking Wendy out, or just some girl he liked, a redhead preferably. It was obvious no one could ever replace Kyle in his heart, but he believed he could forget him easier, maybe even fall in love with someone else.

Soon a good opportunity popped up when Craig was throwing a party that evening. Stan went and asked him whether he could invite some more girls this time. When Craig wanted to know why, Stan simply said that he wants to try his luck and the other one didn’t ask anymore and agreed.

So there was the fateful evening. Stan had no idea Kenny and Kyle were at the party as well, because thankfully he was drinking with Craig in the yard most of the time.

„I thought you wanted to hit on chicks Marsh, what happened? Reconsidering?“ Craig teased him.

„Nah... Probably, I don’t know.“ The smaller man shurgged. „They just don’t seem attractive anymore.“

„Because you’re into guys, just admit it. It’s gonna make your life a whole lot easier than denying something you can’t change for fuck’s sake...“ Craig made a frustraded sigh.

Stan felt like he was getting on his nerves by now and he didn’t want that. He liked Craig in a way, Token, Clyde and Tweek too. They were fun to hang out with. But Craig was special, quite handsome and cool. For a moment there Stan thought that maybe he could try to cure his broken heart with him, but then... he was with Tweek already, right?

„What are you thinking about?“ The question made him jolt.

„Uh... nothing... just...“

„Hm?“ Craig didn’t look like he’d want to drop the subject.

„I need to release my frustration somehow...“ A heavy sigh escaped his mouth. „You know like... find someone else and try to move on or something...“

Stan’s eyes glanced at Craig and he noticed. „You mean for fucking?“

„Yeah, that too... maybe...“ He looked at him now and felt like Craig is closer than he was before. There was a wooden fence behind his back, so he couldn’t go anywhere. Not that he really wanted to.

Craig didn’t say anything, but leaned closer, slowly, as if expected Stan to push him away. Stan knew he should, but he couldn’t move. Craig was closing in, he shut his eyes and then he felt it. Craig’s lips pressed against his and soon he tried to pry them open and get inside.

Stan was confused. It didn’t feel bad, quite the contrary. But it was so new. He was never kissed in such way, even less by a guy.

„Wait...“ Stan found himself with both hands on Craig shoulders, slightly pushing him away. „I thought... Tweek...?“

Craig chuckled. „I never said we’re dating. I don’t do relationships. He confessed to me and I said okay, but there was never a word about being a  _thing._ Not that it’s any of your business Marsh...“

„You’ve just _made_ it my business!“ Stan pleaded, but slid his arms more around Craig. This was conveniet for both of them.

He wanted to do this with Kyle. He really did. But that was not happening, so instead he sank into Craig’s next kiss, thinking that this might make things a bit better at last.

\- - -


	5. Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of yelling and then lots of moaning - just the way I like it~

„What the hell are you doing Stan Marsh?! Are you trying to piss me off?!  What’s your deal?!“ Kyle yelled at them, which startled them both.

„K-Kyle?!“ Stan’s voice was almost high pitched. „What... Since when are you here?“

„Since when are you boyfriends with Craig?“

„Oh no, hold on!“ Craig raised his arms in defense. „There’s no such thing as boyfriends.“

„Yeah... we’re not boyfriends, just...“ Stan nodded sharply and Kyle could tell how nervous he was right now. Served him right.

„You know, Stan was lonely and I was in the mood, end of story.“ Craig shrugged like it explained everything and they can all go drink together now.

„I can’t believe you Stan!“ This was not happening. „You ditched our friendship for... Craig? Is that what is this all about?“

„What-... no!“

„Alright, stop for a second.“ Craig put one hand on Stan’s shoulder and the other on Kyle’s, who immediately escaped the touch. „I’ve had enough of your bullshit guys. You’re immature, stupid and confused virgins and you really need to talk.“ He patted Stan‘s shoulder which, as Kyle assumed, might have been his way of saying ’good luck‘ and then he left them there.

„What did he mean?“ Kyle frowned at the brunette.

Stan avoided his eyes. „I don’t know.“

„You don’t know... You know what Stan?“ Kyle made a step closer to him. „This is it. I don’t understand what’s going on in your head and if you don’t wanna tell me I probably never will... but I’m just a human being and I can’t do this anymore.“

He watched Stan’s face until their eyes locked. „You stopped talking to me all of a sudden and you never told me why. At first I thought: I’ll just give him time; but it’s been almost two months now Stan. We were best friends for fuck’s sake. How could you do this to me...?“

Kyle could feel his anger taking over him, but he resisted just a bit more. „But never mind now. You know just... forget we’ve ever been friends. You’re even worse than Cartman. With him I can at least be sure that he hates me. But I’m so done with you.“ He cast him one last hurt look and then ran inside, passing by Kenny and Craig.

Stan was listening to Kyle’s speech completely bewildered and his heart sank with every sentence. He couldn’t even bring himself to say anything and then Kyle just left. This is what he wanted: Kyle forgetting about him, so he can too. But he never imagined it would suck this much. How could he possibly think that giving up on Kyle was a good idea?

„Kyle...“ He whispered that name for himself and his body was already following Kyle inside. It’s not too late yet. He can fix this. He _must_.

As he ran past Craig and Kenny as well, they both looked at each other and sighed.

„I can’t believe I’ve got tangled into this shit...“ Kenny whined and pulled out his last cig.

„Me neither man...“ Craig was annoyed and seeing Kenny smoking made him wanna light one for himself as well.

„You knew that Kyle likes him right?“

„Yeah, well I didn‘t... I figured a while ago cause of that scene he made...“ Craig shook his head trying to make his lighter work.

„Stan likes him too, doesn’t he... that’s why he started avoiding us...“

Craig just nodded, finally lighting his cigarette and taking a long drag.

„Jesus Christ... they are so retarded...“ Kenny made a sour smile.

„Yeah, fucking virgins. I’m pissed off. I was already looking forward to getting some tonight.“

Kenny almost choked as he laughed. „You would actually bang Stan?“

„So what? He has the looks.“ Craig smirked and took another drag before talking again. „In the end you are the best fuck around here Kenny... no feelings, no boyfriends and love bullshit. Just the way I like it...“

„Oh wow, I’m flattered...“ He nudged him with his elbow. „So maybe we could go upstairs?“

„Fuck off, I’m totally not in the mood after those two.“

„Haha, alright, let me know if you change your mind though~...“

Craig looked at him and couldn’t help a smirk. „I need to get more drunk first...“

„Meanie!“ Kenny hit his shoulder with a fist gently, but laughed too.

\- - -

„Kyle! Stop!!“

He could hear Stan’s voice behind him, but he ran even faster. He didn’t wanna talk to him again. Ever.

Unfortunately, Stan had longer legs and Kyle wasn’t exactly a runner so he caught up soon and grabbed Kyle’s arm. The sudden force made him stop and it hurt his shoulder a little.

„Ouch...“

„Sorry...“ Stan apologized, but didn’t let go. „Kyle I... I know you hate me now and you have all the right for that, but I beg you... listen to me one last time and after that I will leave you alone if you want...“

Kyle freed his hand and rubbed his wrist. „Fine. Better be quick.“

„Right...“ Stan took a deep breath, looking at his feet. „I’m so terribly sorry that I haven’t realized sooner that I should‘ve told you the truth right away, but let me correct it at least now...“

The smaller boy crossed his arms and watched Stan with caution.

„The reason I started avoiding you and trying so hard to concentrate about something else was... because I realized that I like you Kyle... not as a friend... but in a romantic way...“ He finally raised his eyes to see Kyle’s reaction and their eyes met. Kyle looked like someone hit him with a sledge hammer.

„I know it’s sudden, but I finally know that it’s better if you know... so that’s it... I’m sorry, but that’s how it is...“ Stan felt like a huge weight dropped down from his shoulders. He finally said it.

„Why the hell should you be sorry for that? Oh god...“ Kyle’s heart was hammering in his chest. Was this even real? Just now he thought Stan left him completely because of Craig, but it turns out it was all about him? Stan likes him! „And just... why just... why didn’t you tell me at the beginning?“

„I was scared, I thought you would be disgusted and that you’d make fun of me with Cartman for being a fag... I was afraid our friendship will be over if I come out with it, so... I panicked I guess...“

Kyle shook his head at him. „Are you fucking stupid? Do you really think I would  _ever_ side with Cartman against you? Even if it was about you being gay?“

„Well I...“

„Wow, thanks for giving me so much credit as your best friend...“

„I’m sorry Kyle, I know I was wrong and I also know there’s no going back at this point, but if I could do something... anything...“

Kyle shut him up with a gesture. „No of course there’s no going back idiot. Not after what I’ve just heard.“

Stan’s shoulders slumped. „I’m sorry, if I didn’t-...“

„I like you too Stan.“

Stan thought he misheard there. „........ Y-you... what...?“

„I like you! I want to date you, I want to be your boyfriend! Call it however you want, you dumbass!“ Kyle had to laugh at Stan’s surprised face.

„Fucking hell I can’t believe this Kyle...“ Stan smiled and soon Kyle found himself in his arms and he hugged him back.

„Jesus I’m so stupid... so fucking stupid...“

„Yes you are...“ Kyle stroked Stan’s back with one palm and rested his chin on his shoulder. „But it’s fine now...“

„No I...“ He got away just enough to see his face. „I’ve been such a dick to you... and that thing with Craig... I had no idea you could ever like me back...“

„Shh... Stan just... stop talking now...“ He ran fingers through his black hair and smiled at him. „It doesn’t matter anymore. I already forgive you...“

Stan wanted to say so many things, but that smile turned his brain into a marshmallow. „Kyle...“ His voice broke and he leaned closer to Kyle’s face.

Kyle moved towards him as well and the moment their lips connected, he felt like he was struck by a lightning. He couldn’t remember how many times he imagined their kiss, but he was sure as hell that the real deal was thousands times better.

Stan made his way with his tongue into Kyle’s mouth and he gladly let him in. His head was buzzing and it all felt somewhat exciting.

Kyle made a faint moan when Stan’s hands sneaked down to grope his butt and his face immediately went red. He gripped his raven hair and deepened the kiss even more.

After several seconds, or even minutes of intense kissing they finally had to break apart to catch some breath, faces were both slightly flushed and embarrassed.

„Hah... we’re in the middle of the street...“ Kyle looked around, but no one seemed to be in sight.

„I know... but I felt like I might stop existing if I didn’t kiss you right here...“ Stan smiled at him, looking really happy. That was him. His old Stan who he loved so much.

„I-...“ Kyle stopped and blushed even more, because he accidentally rubbed himself against something hard in Stan’s pants. That made him realize that he was hard as well.

Stan cleared his throat and stepped back, putting more space between them, but still holding his hand. „We should go somewhere more private...“

„Not back to Craig’s house, that‘s for sure... and my parents are home...“

„Mine too... but maybe we could go, eh... to my treehouse...?“ Stan made an awkward expression, not really expecting Kyle to agree. It was a really crazy idea, but what other choice did they have.

The redhead paused for a while, a blush creeping up to his face. „Okay, let’s go.“ And he took the lead before Stan could notice his embarrassment.

\- - -

„Go ahead.“ Stan let him go up first after they stopped under the tree house. Kyle climbed up the ladder and crawled inside.

„Oh no way dude! I’m gonna get a splinter in my ass...“

Stan laughed when his head popped up in the entrance. „Don’t worry, I have some spare blankets here...“

Kyle watched him going to the corner with pile of some stuff, covered by a plastic sheet. He pulled it down and took out two thick covers, or more like carpets. Kyle moved to the side, so the other can spread the carpets across the wooden floor.

It was so strange. His best friend, who he played with as a kid was now going to have sex with him. Or something. Either way it was really strange, but thrilling at the same time.

Stan sat next to him and their eyes met. He didn’t know what to say, but Stan broke the silence.

„So... how do we do this...?“

„Well...“ Kyle laughed a little and took his hand. „We can start with kissing...  and see...?“

Stan smiled and brushed their noses together. „Alright...“ He kissed him softly at first and then pulled him closer for a deeper kiss.

Kyle felt like his insides melted. Stan’s arm wrapped around his waist and he slid his around Stan’s neck.

Their kisses were clumsy and thir teeth clashed sometimes, but neither of of them could care less. Kyle found the zipper on Stan’s jacket and pulled it down. Soon Stan did the same to him and their jackets were lying on the floor.

„Ah... Stan...“ He looked at him between their kisses, his lips a little swollen.

„What?“ He asked and pushed him down on the floor, hovering above him.

„N-nothing...“ Kyle smiled.

Stan stooped down and surprised him when he kissed his cheek instead of lips and then he trailed his kisses down to his exposed neck. It felt really nice, so to let Stan know he hugged him and whispered to him that he should go on.

And of course he did. He even left a small hickey there and slid hands under Kyle’s t-shirt, pulling it up slowly.

„No way... it’s cold...“ Kyle chuckled and grabbed his wrists.

„Oh come on, I was looking forward to undressing you... I-... wanna see...“

„Stan you saw me naked already...“ Kyle laughed with a slight blush.

„This is different... come on, please!“

Kyle hesitated, but then let go of his hands. „Okay, but you too.“

„Sure.“ He pulled the t-shirt all the way up and with Kyle’s help they finally took it off.

He was all Stan has ever imagined. It’s true, he saw him half naked already, but that was years ago. Now that he was all grown up, it was different. He noticed that Kyle had freckles on his shoulders too and probably even on his back.

He must’ve stared at him too long, because Kyle started to blush again. „W-what are you staring at... you take it off too...!“

„Sorry...“ Stan smiled and pulled the t-shirt over his head as well. He was pretty skinny, but not as much as Kyle. His body looked manlier, but quite pale. But then, who wasn’t pale, in a town with almost permanent snow.

Kyle ran fingers over his chest and then pulled him back down by the shoulders. „You were right. It’s different.“

„Nn...“ Stan made a pleased sound at the skin contact and rubbed his crotch against Kyle which earned him a nice moan from the man under him.

„Fucking hell Stan... don’t tease me!“ He suddenly grabbed Stan’s crotch and started working on his zipper.

Stan didn’t wait until he’s done and got into his pants as well. Kyle lifted his hips for him so he could pull his boxers down.

„Oh wow, I totally forgot you’ve got that Jewish bris thing...“

„Don’t look at it dumbass!! And don’t call it that!“

„Sorry...“ He obeyed and looked at him instead. As he closed in for a kiss, Stan could feel Kyle’s hard cock pressing against his stomach and he wrapped fingers around it. Kyle took a sharp breath.

Encouraged by his reaction, he started stroking the shaft and the sound Kyle made was just the sweetest thing ever. He moved away a little to see his face and holy shit this redhead sure was a turn on.

„Ah... Stan that’s...“ Kyle felt really vulnerable at the moment and all his male dignity was fighting back. It’s not that he didn’t like it, no, it felt amazing, but he had to do something as well or he might die of embarrassment.

His shaky hands made their way to Stan’s underwear and pulled them off too. He couldn’t see well, but he knew where to touch and soon he was returning the favor.

„Oh Jesus Christ.. nn...“ Stan stopped moving for a few seconds, until he got used to it.

„Stan...“ Kyle whispered.

„Yes?“

„Kiss me.“

Stan captured his lips the moment he answered. All they did felt so good and so natural, like it was always meant to be that way.

Kyle wasn’t even shy anymore. He’s got into it completely and now he was rocking his hips against Stan and moaning sweetly.

„Holy shit Kyle, you’re such a turn on...“

„Fuck... Stan... I’m so fucking close... ah~...“

„I know...“ Stan started jerking him off even faster. The thought of seeing Kyle’s face as he reaches his climax almost sent him over the edge just by itself.

Kyle’s grip on the Stan’s cock weakened. He just couldn’t keep up anymore, but he was trying his best.

Stan could feel it and he rubbed them together. He grabbed both of them and was now stroking them like that. It felt amazing.

The smaller guy gave up completely after that and his arms went up to close around Stan’s shoulders.

„Stan-... Stan!! A-aahn~...“ Kyle’s fingers dug into Stan’s pale skin as he finally came, probably even leaving small red marks.

„Fuck... ah... nnh...“ The other one was done shortly after him, riding it out between their stomachs and then collapsed onto his lover.

For a while they just stayed like that, unable to move and just kept panting and catching their breaths.

„That was... fucking amazing...“ Kyle was the first one to break the silence and pushed against Stan. „Could you move a little? You’re crushing me...“

Stan lifted himself up and the sticky liquid stretched between their bodies until Stan was far enough for it to split.

„Ewww~ Gross!!“ Kyle looked away and Stan just went to the pile of stuff in the corner where he found some tissues and wiped himself clean.

„Here, use this.“ He put the pack next to Kyle, zipped his pants and put his t-shirt and jacket back on and then sat next to him.

Kyle does as he was told, pulled his pants back on as well and then looked at Stan with a smile.

„What?“ Stan asked smling as well.

„Nothing~“ He leaned for a kiss and Stan gladly accepted it.

„I never thought this would be real...“

„What?“

„Everything. You kissing me and us doing... stuff...“

„Like jerking each other off...“ Kyle chuckled and then looked around for his t-shirt and jacket.

„Yeah. Let’s go to my room, shall we?“

„Can I stay over?“

„Dude, you’re Kyle Broflovski, my best friend. You’re over more often than anyone. My parents consider you family already.“

„That’s cute.“ Kyle gave him one last kiss, because he just couldn’t get enough of it and then they climbed down the tree, going inside.

It was pretty late, so his parents and sister were asleep and they sneaked into Stan’s room. They both changed to something comfy and Stan gave some clothes to Kyle to sleep in and then quickly slid under the sheets.

„Stan?“

„Mm?“ Stan was dead tired and his comfy pillow was making him fall asleep almost immediately.

„You know I just... I really like you...“

He opened his eyes and smiled. „I like you too Kyle. So much.“

Kyle snuggled to him as Stan wrapped one arm around him. He liked the weight of it on his body.

„Good night.“ Kyle closed his eyes as well and slowly drifted to sleep.

„Good night Kyle.“

\- - -

 

**Notes:**

**Aaaaand happy end! :)**

**In the end I'd like to thank to[Skarlet170](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Skarlet170/pseuds/Skarlet170), because without her support I wouldn't even write anything c: And thanks for help with the edit! You're the best and your works are awesome!! >u<**

**Also lots of thanks to all of you that've got to the very end! It was my first fanfic so I'm excited for every reader. Hope you liked it! c:**


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